flippedout1987

11:01 am: alot has changed since my last entry, well not really haha. im moving to gboro again, i totaled the jetta, so i got another jetta. 04 GLI 6 speed turbocharged haha shes pretty. i wait tables at ruby tuesdays on 68 towards gboro. come visit me il hook you up with free salad bars. haha. that is all

11:21 am: its been a while once again
im alive and kicking. yesterday i went snowboarding at app. t shirts all day. it was the shit. i hit some boxes, and did a sick face plant and hit the ground face first with my left eye, well right under it haha. its not bad though. i was killin some kickers, and bombin the hills. it was a damn good trip. someone play some music with me. i dont do hardcore... sour diesel is the shit for real. christmas is coming soon.

09:43 pm: why must girls tool me?

03:13 pm: school is ok. work sucks. senior year i weighed 225. i went to the doctor yesterday. im down to 191. with blindness comes selfishness. theres always alot more to look at than what the eye can see. dedication is the only way you can ever get anything accomplished. time stops for no one. time is the only thing capable of healing a soul. time is only an idea. ideas are the world. culture as we know it was created by those not scared to speak their mind and share their ideas. strength comes from security. security comes from trust. trust must be earned. the norms that we follow on a daily routine may not be enough to fulfill the needs to establish trust. at the back of the line is where i will be. its sad that were so corrupted from our meant purpose here, that it takes a dramatic stimulation to ones self to bring out the instinct that we possess. we have strayed from our roots too far. without that foundation, were all doomed. reflection is our savior. without it we have no morals. think about what you've done.

04:46 pm: its been a while. i no longer date that girl. im going to GTCC again this semester. im still at northern. i want to run across the hoods of cars at intersections. i had a flashback of those adventures earlier. i got summoned for jury duty today. its some bullshit fo-real.

09:21 pm: Loat has changed since my last rant in here. i have a girlfriend, she is a keeper for real.ive cleared up some debt issues, ive managed to worm my way out of 2 more HORRIBLE tickets. one of them by an undercover sheriff in a minivan in guilford county. for wreckless driving and 20 over the speed limit. no ticket. the other i cant talk about haha, but it was a good life experience.i turned 19 the other day. the 25th to be exact. it was nice.im starting to get my goals in focus, well trying to anyways.

07:44 pm: im beginning to realize that i have wasted the past 6 months of my life. fuck people who lead people on. for 6 fucking months. it seems as if i was the only one who would take the initiative to even try to spend time together. infact, the ratio of times of getting blown off, to hanging out is coming ever so close to 6:1. i shit you fucking not. she has no idea what shes done to me. shes taught me to hate. why am i so forgiving to someone who brushes me away, after i actually forgive them, numerous times in a row. ive missed out on alot of good times with good friends, that can never be brought back, and i regret EVERY second i ever spent with her. EVERY smile i gave to her, EVERY effort i made for her. it was all pointless. life is tooo short to bullshit people.

05:06 pm: The Mars Volta is coming to atlanta with the red hot chili peppers. anyone else want to go? tickets are 50 bucks
its october 26th. Let me Know.

02:17 pm: the mars volta is going on tour with the red hot chili peppers. the closest stop is in atlanta. im going. i dont care if anyone else goes, but im going. summer has begun. i havent had a saturday off work in sooo long, i dont even know what to do with myself honestly. im tired of being put on hold, but i just cant seem to let her go. it just feels like she doesent want to try to make time for me at all. maybe im a bad person, maybe im not worth hanging out with. no, i change my mind,. fuck that im martin fucking hinsdale. well fuck. i have to go work in the garden now, my dad gave me the look. POOL HOPPING SEASON BEGINS SOON. Bolton pool, were going to hop the shit out of you.

06:43 pm: ponder this
without hypocrisy nobody would be able to maintain order in todays society.

02:16 pm: i work alot. next week i work 31 hours. my only day off is wednesday i do belive. dammit. be careful fellas, those girls will break your heart.

06:24 pm: what a beautiful world.
isnt it beautiful?? how people can interact, and have a conversation just by making eye contact? . everyones eyes tell a story, some of sorrow, some of joy, some of arrogance, some of respect.

07:51 pm: today i went to hanging rock. beautiful day. met some cool ass people. lcimbed up the cliff cavern. went ot the lower cascades. saw dave vegan. im going to greensboro. and im taking the MG because my car is out of gas. ha! AND the radio in it is iPod compatible.

07:46 pm: im broke. fuck lawyers. fuck slow computers. fuck gas prices. props to the allman brothers. on another note my dad bought a 79 stingray corvette. its REAL fast. we have to paint it

01:01 pm: i just got back from a beautiful time at ocean isle about 30 minutes ago. i am currently packing to go to the beach again until wednesday. its spring break!

12:45 am: well spring break is almost here. im going backpacking. hell yes. today was a great day. i went flying kites with dave, and sat in a park for like 2 hours. while flying kites, this 2-3 year old little hispanic boy walked up to me. my kite fell, and he kindly picked up and made it fly into the wind again. i flew kites with him for a few, then i gave him my kite. it was a badass batman one from big lotts. it was 99 cents. AND cody thomas called me from basic. i talked to him for a good half hour. i bought the three stooges on dvd today.

Yesterday i went rope swinging in the woods behind guilford college. it was sweet as hell.

02:42 pm: ive been sick for like 3 days. it blows. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a8q-elxC6gU&search=nintendo%2064 is fucking hilarious. i have to work today. fuck. i still feel like shit.

12:36 pm: this weekend should be fun. i work tonight, and dont know what im doing toniht, i work all daytomorrow, and then a bangin ass feild party in belews creek. then i dont work sunday, so im going to hanging rock int he morning, then circa survive in the evening. im excited. i got a marshall jcm 900 head and a crate cab for 600 bucks. its beautiful!. band anyone?.

02:43 pm: you took a stab at my pride. your immaturity is at fault. i forgive you. grow up. take a look around and realize you cant take everything for granted. dont hide your feelings behind recognizable lies. you will forever be discovered. sheath your blade. im tired of playing games. i am who i am, i am what i am, i am how i will be for the rest of my life. i find myself to be very understanding, but i cannot understand you. communicate with me. im as true hearted as they come. maybe one day you will realize that. until then, take some time to think to yourself, and get your priorities straight. can you hear me now?

12:30 pm: i try hard. it doesent work. i try harder, the reprocussions are worse. im at ends with myself. what kind of human being am i? i dont understand myself, let alone anyone else. if the person that makes you smile the most out of anyone, is also the person that makes you want to cry the most out of anyone, what does that mean? i swear i would do anything to make things better. you are the only girl that feels right in my arms, and im afraid i wont get the chance to hold you agian. ive never seen my emotions like this. and i dont want to have to see them like this again. getting out of bed in the morning is the worst pain i have, because you on my mind keeps me up all night. my stomach hurts constantly and you are the only medicine that will fix it. i cant function. even my best friends cant help me with this. its something only i can fix. i dont know what to do.